Fiending Feelings 

Endure so much in silence 

The idea of sharing what I feel lost all its vibrance 

Don’t wanna fuck the vibe up

Anxiety gone right up 

On rapid, my mind is stuck 

Been wondering if it’s just a bout of bad luck 

Not so sure if I’m really happy anymore 

Or if I even care at all 

The moments clock by 

And I’m not sure how or why 

Days go by, then weeks 

Now it’s 2017 

Slowly trying to reconnect 

Just one more attempt 

I couldn’t possibly relay this feeling 

I can barely allow myself to feel it 

Suppressed so much for so long 

I no longer know which ones are right or wrong 

All I can do is never retreat 

After all

How can I retreat from me 

With the dawn 

Another chance has spawned 

The rising of the moon 

Letting me know a new beginning is coming soon 

Regardless of the pain I feel

I’ll never stop giving and receiving 

My love will out live me 

Long after I’ve completed this journey 

One thing I’ve found 

Is that my heart knows no bounds 

It’s resilience has made my spirit strong 

Even though the road can be so long 

As long as my soul can withhold 

All the things that are about to unfold 

Dilemmas of my Darkness 

Constantly at battle with my mind 

It’s a constant war inside 

Worrying about the darkness taking precedence over the light 

It’s kind of ironic 

Because I find so much comfort in the night 

It’s probably because I blend in so perfectly 

Or possibly because the darkness in me is me 

The moon shine provides just enough ease 

Just long enough for me to feel the night’s breeze 

Is it the fear of embracing parts of my soul 

Things I’d rather not show

The parts that aren’t ideally things I’d like to feel

The things I don’t see myself seeing 

My universe finds it so hard to find the balance between my sun and moon 

I become conflicted by some of the thoughts and feelings my mind blooms 

What if they don’t turn out to be pretty flowers

What if all they are are black roses filled with thorns 

Would they still be considered beautiful 

Or would they be seen as something harmful 

So many unanswered questions that float around 

As I watch them float above my smoky crown 

So many things left unsettled in the air 

I managed to let go of some of the things my heart couldn’t bare 

The blood that flows through my prideful veins 

Fills my heart with all these unnecessary strains 

The most beautiful breakthroughs come after the ugliest breakdowns

Right before it feels like in my feelings I’m about to drown

Each one comes when I’m just about to give in 

Give in to the battles I fight within 

Somehow the light always comes shining through 

Just when I thought the darkness was all I knew